After a thoroughly unromantic Valentine’s Day (and I’m not even single!) I feel it necessary to post this: a few key steps that can be universally applied to for any Oblivious Guy and his Low-Maintenance Girlfriend (author’s note: I feel stupid for even feeling compelled to post this). It has not been tested for Oblivious Girls with the Low-Maintenance Boyfriend.
1. What’s the occasion? It seems rare that Oblivious Guy, without formal reminder, would take it upon himself to do something special for his Low-Maintenance Girlfriend. But, there are plenty of opportunities – birthdays, Valentine’s, and all those anniversaries of gushy, milestone moments that could really win a guy brownie points if he wanted them (the exchange rate of said Brownie Point to be left to the discretion of the parties involved). Hell, the calendar can be all circled up in red with tentative dates, and all you have to do is picked one or two good ones little reminders that you’re not completely dispassionate.
2. Plan for the Something Ahead of Time: Sure, a nice little en scripture can give even belated wishes a little extra umpf to make your Low-Maintenance Girlfriend blush, but don’t overdo it. For one thing, good belated cards are hard to find, and so are the excuses to back it up. And with the aforementioned buzz word – calendar! – it’s not like most of these occasions are surprises anyway. Especially, if you’re dwelling on those milestone anniversaries, unless for any reason, you were unconscious during them (it happens sometimes). Fresh out of ideas are you? Just look to the many examples of television, film, greeting and gift card wholesalers, and classic rock lyrics for ideas and ask yourself… What Would Ryan Gosling Do?
No wait, that’s probably too much. Oh god… this sounds like something outta People Magazine.
3. Make the Something Simple: There’s something to be said for the guy who goes out of his way to be uber-romantic at every turn, exploiting all those stereotypically girlie things, but for Low-Maintenance Girlfriend, it might also come off as arrogant if done too frequently. Consider her space… What is a girl to do with a bouquet of flowers if the old bouquet didn’t die yet? Stick to the basics. It doesn’t have to mean that you go out and buy shit, and finding something for a Low-Maintenance Girl isn’t all that hard to do even if you do feel obligated to make a purchase. Save the Low-Maintenance Girlfriend turned High-Maintenance Girlfriend because of allergic reactions, Low-Maintenance Girlfriend might even just value a little quality time with her conscious Oblivious Guy and a little salutation to say yeah, I remembered this. Just figure out at least one thing that your better half (presumably someone less Obvious and much more patient) can identify with and Bam! It’s all “ooo’s” and “ahhh’s,” etc, etc.
4. Don’t forget it*: Seriously, don’t get too comfortable so early in the relationship (or whatever you call it… I say as I resort to my generation’s self-conscious need for distinct labels). Save that for marriage!
*To my Oblivious Guy’s credit, he did much better the first year, hence the need for a little reminder.