Because I Read This Thing in the New Yorker

Day #63: Levy – “Rotten Love”

I’ve been slacking on watching season 2 episodes of Portlandia, but at least I can say I’ve finally read Margaret Talbot’s article about Carrie Brownstein, “Stumptown Girl,” which appeared in January issue of The New Yorker. (Thanks to the Other Janine for sharing!) Talbot seems intensely mystified (and now, so am I) by Browstein’s impeccably platonic relationship with co-star Fred Armisen.

It’s easy to see why Armisen and Brownstein clicked. Both are hard workers with little tolerance for downtime. Both are music obsessives, with an encyclopedic knowledge of B-sides. Neither has children, or seems likely to have any, though they’re sweet to their friends’ kids. They shudder at the thought of becoming bitter or cynical. Both describe themselves as having been difficult, or restive, in romantic relationships. Armisen was married first to Timms, and then, for less than a year, to Elizabeth Moss, who plays Peggy Olson on “Mad Men.” Brownstein has dated both men and women, and she was once involved with Corin Tucker, the singer and guitarist with whom she founded Sleater-Kinney. But she hates categories like “bisexual,” and has always felt more defined by her work than by her relationships. “I never think of sexuality as an identifier,” Brownstein wrote in an e-mail. “What seems to have defined me more is that I’m pretty horrible at relationships and haven’t been in many long-term ones. Leaving and moving on—returning to a familiar sense of self-reliance and autonomy—is what I know; that feeling is as comfortable and comforting as it might be for a different kind of person to stay.” (page 2)

Armisen and Brownstein text each other every night before bed. Brownstein says of their friendship, “Sometimes I think it’s the most successful love affair either of us will ever have.” Both claim that it wouldn’t work if they were romantically involved. “It would be colder, because we’ve both treated our romantic relationships in a cold way,” Armisen says. “Carrie and I are more romantic than any other romantic relationship I’ve ever had—that sense of anticipation about seeing the other person, the secret bond. But things don’t become obligatory. I’m not thinking, I’m doing this because you’re my girlfriend; I’m just thinking, I love Carrie.” (page 3)

How can that be?! On the one hand, this means questioning the supposed facts of life about how a single guy and his single girl friend can never be “just friends” forever (and we’re talking serious friendships, not mere acquaintances). That an absolutely platonic relationship is totally impossible! But, they not only managed to keep their hands above the table, they’ve achieved the “Secret Bond” (as Armisen puts it). That’s like pulling Excalibur from the goddamn stone! Margaret Talbot should have ended the article with three simple words… Does. Not. Compute.

In the spirit of today’s nerdy, tabloid-esque exploits, I leave you with a song that Regina Spektor’s ex-flame wrote about her. That’s right – Ooooo!

Because the Portlandia TOUR is the Worst Show Ever

Day #44: Crystal Castles – “Cry Babies”

I love Portlandia. That show is the perfect jab at the self-indulgent hipster generation. Or really, the self-indulgent white middle class. Co-writer/co-star Carrie Brownstein perfectly captured what it’s all about in their recent interview with the New Yorker:

I was standing in line at Whole Foods, and the guy in front of me says, ‘I really wish you guys sold locally made fresh pasta.’ And the cashier says, ‘Look, we do.’ And the guy says, ‘No, no—that’s from Seattle.’ Really? You don’t have a bigger battle?”

So when my friends and I, recent devotees of the show (finally something hilarious that wasn’t produced in Britain first!), learned that Brownstein, and her co-star, Fred Armisen, were taking the show on the road, we were pretty stoked. For an  under-publicized tour that only started up in late December, the Portlandia Tour has been quite successful. What started as a six city tour (yes, that includes Portland) almost immediately sold out before extra dates were added. They performed at the 9:30 Club here in DC last night.

Carrie cranks the arm of a giant invisible antique cash register while Fred looks on.

This tour may have been something developed on the fly, and turned out to be a larger success than either Brownstein or Armisen expected. The event at the 9:30 Club was originally supposed to be a sit-down show. Then, I guess the cha-ching chimes went off after the show sold out within an hour of tickets going on sale. It then became two shows, both standing room-only. Clearly, a lot of people around here are big fans of the show, and were expecting something good. Unfortunately, as the title of this blog makes obvious, it was immensely disappointing. (If you are heading to any future Portlandia tour dates, you may want to read this first: 12 Things We Saw, Heard and Learned at Last Night’s Portlandia Tour Show).

I will stop here to say that the biggest foul was committed by the venue itself. We arrived just after doors opened, only to find ourselves at the back of a very long line. By the time we got in, the place was packed, and we found standing room on the upstairs balcony. “I just hope they don’t plan on using that screen,” Steph said. A set of hanging speakers blocked the views of people standing on the left and right balconies. Well, they did use the screen. A lot. So, it was kind of like paying to go to a ball game and sitting behind a view-blocking pillar. That really made me feel like I got screwed out of the decent chunk of change we paid for our  tickets.

Thank God most of this material is going to show up on TV anyways. (photo credit: SportsJournalists.com)

Well that, and that the show was pretty horrible. (Note: most of what I’m about to describe has already been said by someone else in 12 Things We Saw, Heard and Learned at Last Night’s Portlandia Tour Show). Perhaps the first (really second) sign of bad news was disembodied Kyle MacLachlan (as Portland’s mayor on the show) appearing onscreen to remind us, the audience, to mind our manners. I’ve never been to a show before, even the kind where people get really aggressive, where we had to be reminded to respect those around us. And hipsters (yeah, perhaps not surprisingly, they were the majority of the audience) are quite possibly the tamest crowd around. Was there a performance earlier in the tour that was stopped because of the sudden eruption of a riot in the audience that we weren’t aware of? But that wasn’t the worst of it.

Throughout the show we were played as-yet-unaired skits from the show. They were funny, but you had to wonder how people felt about paying $30 to watch something that they’ll eventually see on TV in a few weeks. And that’s the thing about the Portlandia live show: It didn’t seem all that planned. It was amorphous. It had no shape.  — Brian McManus

Steph pretty much said the same thing after we left the show. Going into this, I was expecting something ala Flight of the Conchords or the Mighty Boosh. You know, where they may recreate (either with sets or just dialog) something like you’d see in Portlandia. They didn’t. Instead, it was half-related to Portlandia (and much of that was in the form of the show’s opening credits and not-yet-aired skits, which of course, we couldn’t see), and the rest was Fred and Carrie and a handful of unknown guests on stage trying to fill up an hour and a half and call it a night. Fred and Carrie invited some guy named Ian onstage to acquaint themselves with the crowd and talk about living in DC. There was a skit about text messages (which was sort of like something you’d see on Portlandia). Fred and Carrie went through a reel of old photos from their laptops and a lot of it felt like if you had seen old photos of your own friends and pointed out all the funny things about their outdated clothes and dorky poses and such. They did open the show with the “Dream of the 90’s” song, and later played one about making jewelry. There was also a Q & A which was kind of interesting, since people didn’t ask totally stupid questions. We learned that Anthony Keidis, John Waters, and Tom Hulce had been asked to guest star on the show, but their schedules made it impossible. And, a girl named Genesis (no lie) asked Fred and Carrie if they wanted to see her Eddie Vedder tattoo (a joke from the show, in case you’re unfamiliar). It wasn’t until she was finally onstage that we learned that it wasn’t of Eddie Vedder, but lyrics from a Pearl Jam song. And really, only three or four words from their song, “Black.”

I was eying the door when Eleanor Friedberger of Fiery Furnaces (someone else I didn’t care about and didn’t pay to see) appeared on stage at the end to play several songs from her solo album. When Fred and Carrie and their two backing musicians joined in for Natalie Merchant cover song, I was ready for the first time ever to walk out of a show.

Because We Were All Talking About the Portlandia Tour

Day #7: Wild Flag – “Romance”

Phil got really into Portlandia before I did, and in looking up where this Carrie Brownstein person came from, he was adorably clueless about her prior life as a musician. “She was in some kind of band a while back.” Before she became known as “That Girl From Portlandia,” and later, “Carrie Brownstein and that One Band.”

Brownstein will be passing through town in late February for the Portlandia tour, and again in the Spring with her band, Wild Flag, which I’m still debating getting tickets for. I haven’t listened much to Wild Flag, but so far, it’s much more upbeat than way back in those Riot Grrrl! days when that girl from Portlandia was in that one band, Sleater Kinney, (who my brother and I saw for a farewell tour several years, also at 9:30 Club).